Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
My dick has a subreddit
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
