Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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