Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
