if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
