Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
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