it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
