we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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