I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize