JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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