Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
