It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
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