Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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