Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
