get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Randomize