bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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