cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
