I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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