i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
