We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
