I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
