so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
