Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
