then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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