If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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