I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize