So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
