not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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