i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
