Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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