Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Randomize
