I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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