Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize
