i need an iv and a liver transplant
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
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