Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
