Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
