Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
