hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
