so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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