Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
