what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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