it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
