is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
