so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
