And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
you will always have a special place in my vag
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
