Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Randomize
