I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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