No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
