PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
my vag is so smooth its legendary
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Randomize
