U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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