We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
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