Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
This house was built for laser tag.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
