I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize