My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
