He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
