There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize