I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
