I murdered the dance floor call the cops
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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