In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
