when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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