my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
