Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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