You smell like a Billy Joel song
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
