He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
