Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
