We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
