yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
