make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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