We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize