Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
