i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
