Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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