I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
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