What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
