FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Randomize
