Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
