Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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