I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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