I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
