just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
